School Story- Aibu

After coming home from school today, Gilbert told me this little story. Apparently they were working on subtraction- but one little girl did not know how to do it. She did not know any of it, according to Gil. So they did "shem shem". "You did what?" I asked him. "Shem shem. We all told her shem shem, that is what Teacher said we should say. And she was crying, and crying." Shem, shem...shame, shame. Aibu. My American mind is thinking, it is a shame that a five year old should feel shame for something completely unnecessary.  But heck, self esteem is highly over rated anyway, right? Personally, I do think the precedence of self esteem is taken a little too far in America. It is good for a kid to feel shame in certain instances. But not for getting a subtraction problem wrong in kindergarten. That is the culture here, though. So opposite from my own! They are taught from childhood to shame others who are inferior or different in any way- and to avoid shaming themselves at all costs.

I talked with Gil about it. We discussed how it made Umwaheri sad when they did that "shem shem". That it was not a nice thing to do, and the best thing would be to help her learn to do it right, and encouraging her, rather than shaming her. Gilbert agreed that would be much better. He's been dealing with this a bit too- my little left-handed son has terrible handwriting, and all the kids at school tell him so. But at least he hasn't been "shem shem"-ed!

Gilbert, with some of his clay creations!

Such instances make me stand back and re-evaluate my own thinking. I don't need to pass on an American worldview to my children. I need pass on godly wisdom, and a Biblical worldview. More of my flesh is chipped away in the process.
Gilbert's classmates are already trained to shame others who don't do things right. (which means, done exactly as they do!). I don't want him to acquire such a habit- but rather, the habit of edification. I also don't want him to succumb to the shame others may try to put on him. How do we deal with it? I think one big thing will be giving him lots of extra encouragement at home. Setting the example in edification will teach him to do the same for others. He has a strong personality, and that's good! We pray he will be used by the Lord to bless and influence others for His Name's sake.